The Best Worst Pokemon Adventure Ever
by Piplup255
Summary: A re-written version of a really stupid fanfic I wrote when I was little. For no reason, really, I just thought the internet would get a kick out of how weird I was as a child. It's about Red, Gold, and Brendan going on an adventure to stop Fire from taking over Nintendo and forcing them to produce games worse than Sonic 06. Also, warning, I make fun of Lyra, May, and Dawn a lot.
1. Chapter 1

(A.N:In case you get really confused from the first part of this fic, you should probably read this: wiki/Glitchy_Red)

Red, the Pokemon Master, stood atop Mt. Silver, in the midst of a howling blizzard, staring down at the mountain ranges from the cliff he stood on, waiting for an unsuspecting trainer to climb the mountain and blindly challenge him to a Pokemon Battle, to which he new he would easily win... Unless it was Gold. Red sighed in frustration thinking of the Johto champion. "Of all the trainers, and I loose to him..." Red muttered under his breath. He sighed, banishing the though from his mind, and gazed into the distance. Much to Red's surprise, a voice broke the silence. "Well, Well, Well! If it isn't my not-as-popular clone!" Red flinched, recognizing the voice, and gritted his teeth. "Clone...?" He turned around, glaring daggers at the brown-haired boy who was standing behind him. "But you're a copy of me!" Fire fixed his hat, smirking at Red. "Come on, Red. You might as well be dead! It's obvious the fans love me more than you. Not only that, but your own creators forgot about you!" Red clenched his fists at his side, and made an attempt to fight back. "That's not true! I have plenty of fans! Even more than you!" With this, Fire burst into laughter. "What? You mean those whiny, bitchy genwunners? And there's only a few of them, anyway! It's the majority that matters! Look up "Pokemon Trainer Red" on Google. I'm the very first result!" Fire's grin faded and was replaced with a serious expression. "Face it, Red. It's game over. I'm the one calling the shots now. It's clear the fans prefer me over you! ...Even if a lot of them are pedophile fangirls who ship me with that Lucas kid from Mother 3..." Red sighed and shook his head, thinking: _This is the reason why I'm always standing up here... _Fire reached for a pokéball on his belt, and continued his thought. "So, I'm gonna do what everyone wants and get rid of you!" He held the red and white ball in the air, a red beam of light then shot out of it, and took the form of a Charizard. The red dragon Pokemon roared at Red, causing him to step back slightly. "Looks like he isn't fooling around..." Red said quietly to himself, as he reached for a pokéball that contained his own Charizard. He tossed the ball in front of him, and another Charizard flew out of the ball, landing softly next to Red, and looked up at it's opponent. "Oh no, your big scary Charizard!" Fire taunted. "What's it gonna do, spam Flamethrower?" The two Charizards stared each other down, eagerly awaiting a command from their trainers, the only thing filling the silence was the sound of the blizzard around them. Fire thrust his hand forward, and was about to shout a command, when Red interrupted him. "Charizard! Use Fly!" Fire watched as the boy quickly flung himself onto his Charizard's back, the Pokemon responding by lunging into the sky, going higher and higher with each flap of its wings. "What?! But Charizard can't learn fly in Gen 1!" Fire said in disbelief. Red looked behind him, smiling triumphantly. "It's called cheating! Deal with it!" Red shouted down to Fire. He looked ahead, directing his Charizard where to go. Fire watched Red and Charizard's figures become smaller in the sky as they flew towards Kanto. Fire growled in frustration that Red would be so cowardly to run away, but he quickly changed his attitude, a smile twisting across his face. "If it's war you want, it's war you'll get, Red. Eliminating you was only a quarter of my dastardly plan..."

Three Months Later...

"Mom!" Gold shouted, sprinting down the staircase, holding a glass jar, his Typhlosion grumpily following him. "Mom, where's the money I've been saving in this jar?!" He peeked into the room, finding his mother absentmindedly staring at the T.V. "Sorry, dear, I spent it on groceries!" Gold shouted in frustration, throwing his arms into the air. "Mom, how many times have I told you to stop doing that?! I'm saving this money for myself!" Typhlosion sighed and begun climbing back up the stairs. Gold lazily tossed the jar in a random direction, not caring when he heard the sound of something breaking and a cat hiss, and crossed his arms. "Ugh, I need to take my anger out on someone..." Gold looked up the stairs. "Hey, Typhlosion, I'm gonna go make fun of Lyra's pigtails! Wanna come with me?" He shouted, to which his Pokemon came back down and shrugged its shoulders as a response, and fallowed Gold through the kitchen and through the door. It was a nice day in New Bark Town, the weather was perfect, there was a soft breeze, and there was hardly a cloud in the sky. Gold trekked through the roads, eventually making his way to Lyra's house, and he banged on the door. "Yo, Lyra! Open up!" He called, and waited for someone to answer the door. It didn't take long for Gold to start knocking on the door again. "Come on, Lyra, stop pretending you're not there! You did that last time! And before that! And before that!" Gold crossed his arms, growing impatient. "Great, she's not here-" As Gold was about to complain, he was surprised when he saw Silver answer the door. "Gold? What the hell are you doing?" He said, irritation obvious in his voice. "...I could ask you the same thing..." Gold replied, his shocked expression never changing. Silver looked back inside the house. "That's none of your business." Gold and his Typhlosion awkwardly glanced at each other before directing their attention back to Silver. "A-anyways, what are you doing here?" Silver asked, acting antsy. "Silver, don't you know?" Gold replied, "It's national make fun of Lyra day!" Silver grabbed then doorknob and attempted to shut the door. "I don't care, can you please leave?" However, Gold stopped him by putting his foot in between the door. "But this isn't your house." Silver glared at Gold, gritting his teeth, until he sighed, giving up trying to get rid of his rival. "About that... Uh, Lyra wasn't here to begin with. Yeah." Gold couldn't help but smile as he tried to hold back laughter. "So, wait, so you just decided to take her house, rendering her homeless? Man, that's pretty evil of you! Good job!" Silver scrunched his face in confusion as Gold started laughing. "...Thanks?" He stood watching for a few more seconds before he shut the door, not wanting to continue the conversation. Gold eventually calmed his laughing, and turned around, beckoning Typhlosion to fallow, and stopped by a tree to lean on it. "Well, that stinks. I mean, Silver stole her house, and I guess that was pretty funny, but still, I wanted to make fun of her outfit that made her look like a genderbent Mario..." Gold sighed in boredom. Typhlosion put its hand(?) under its chin, trying to think, when Gold's pokegear rang. He growled in anger as he grabbed the cell phone-like device. "I swear, if that's Joey, I'm going to behead his Ratatta and shove its body down his throat..." Gold put that pokegear to his ear, and shouted, "What do you want from me?!" The voice on the other line stayed silent for a moment before the quietly spoke: "...Is this a bad time?" Gold identified the voice, and grew stiff. "Uh, s-sorry, Red..." Red was usually pretty mellow, but Gold knew how scary he can be when he's angry. "...Anyways. I'm coming to your house and there's nothing you can do about it." Red spoke before abruptly hanging up the phone. Gold shut off his pokegear and slowly put it back in his jacket's pocket, and turned to his Typhlosion. "So... How screwed do you think I am?" He noticed his Typhlosion was staring, bug eyed, at him, while shrugging its shoulders. "I'm gonna take that as a 'very,'" Gold replied, as he started running back to his home. He bust open the doors and raced for the staircase, but stopping by his mother who was still sitting at the table, to say, "Mom, if Red comes over here, don't tell him where I am! And if he goes into my room anyways, do everything in your power to stop him!" "Sure, sweetie!" she responded as Gold hurried to his bedroom. A few hours passed, and soon Red was knocking on the door to Gold's house and welcomed himself in, looking around for Gold. "Excuse me ma'am," He asked Gold's mom, "Do you know where your son is?" She pointed up the staircase. "Oh, he's right upstairs!" Red glanced over and nodded. "Thank you," Gold heard the conversation from his room. "Dammit Mom, you had one job..." He suddenly heard his room door being opened, and he quickly hid behind a fort he made out of pillows and blankets, to which Red was staring at upon entering the room. "Uh, Gold? I got something to tell you-" Before Red could complete his thought, Gold jumped out from his cover. "Don't come any closer!" Red only stared back, blinking, as Gold looked wrathful. "I know what your here for! I won't let you tentacle rape me with your Venasaur!" He pointed to something behind Red. "Ambipom! Now!" Gold's Ambipom jumped out from behind his bed and lunged for Red, but face planted into his back and fell down. Red turned his head and stared down at the monkey Pokémon with apathy. The Ambipom shivered as it stared back, when it jumped onto Gold's bed and hid underneath the covers. "...What in the name of all things holy is going on?" Gold hid his head behind his fort, hesitantly saying, "You're not mad at me for taking your title as Pokemon Master, are you?" Red turned and faced Gold, his hands on his hips. "I'm not here to talk about that... Yet." Gold gave a sigh of releif as he stood up and walked out from his fort. "Oh, thank god!" He cleared his throat before speaking again. "So, why are you here?" Red fixed his hat, and stared back at Gold, looking grim. "Well, Gold, the situation is dire. Do you remember Fire?" Gold nodded. "Yeah, that guy who replaced you in FireRed and LeafGreen?" Red replied, "Yes. I thought we had gotten rid of him, but he's back! I'm not sure how, but he's planning something horrible. He confronted me on Mt. Silver, and he tried to kill me!" Gold stared wide-eyed at Red. "What?! How long ago was this?" Red looked away, chagrined. "Three months ago... I would have told you sooner, but my mom found me and she grounded me for not being home in 3 years." Gold fought back the urge to laugh, as he didn't want to anger Red. "Uh, that sounds bad. What should be do?" Red took a deep breath. "Well, I can't believe I'm saying this, but Gold... I need your help." Hearing this, Gold grinned, looking cheeky. "Wait. The legendary Red needs MY help?" Red shook his head, looking despondent. "Gold, please don't..." But, the younger trainer continued. "Red, the guy that everyone knows as the very best, needs my help? Sure!" "I immediately regret this decision..." Red uttered to himself. Gold walked ahead of Red, and went for the door. "Well, come on! If we're gonna take Fire down, we need to be prepared!" Red nodded and trudged behind him. "This is going to be a long quest..."


	2. Chapter 2-Gold Gets Stuck in a Elevator

"Alright, so what kinda things do we need?" Gold asked Red, looking at his team of Pokemon. The duo stood in front of the Goldenrod Department store, looking to buy some items for their Pokemon when they fight Fire at Mt. Silver. "Well, I there's no doubt that we need plenty of Full Restores," Red replied, looking through his bag to see what items he already got. "Wait, I just got an idea for a strategy!" Gold suddenly shouted. "When he sends out that Charizard of his, I'll counter it with my Quagsire! Then I'll just spam Surf 'till its dead as a doornail!" Red lowered his bag and sighed. "Yeah, if he doesn't switch to his own Venusaur and rape the poor thing." Gold crossed his arms and pouted. "Hey, don't rain on my parade..." Red threw his backpack back on his shoulders, and faced Gold. "I'm not 'raining on your parade,' I'm being logical. Sending out a Pokémon with a type advantage and spamming super effective moves hoping you'll get a one-hit K.O isn't the best strategy." Gold followed Red inside the Department Store, the glass doors sliding open for them. "That's what I used to defeat you..." He persisted. "You also used 99 Full Restores and 50 Max Revives," Red objected. "But anyway, promise me you will only buy useful things for battle. Okay? Don't spend half of your money on Max Repels." The store was crowded with people scurrying with shopping bags, Red wading his way through them and headed for the escalator. Gold attempted to follow, when he noticed there wasn't too many people around the elevator. "Escalators are for chumps!" He blurted, skipping towards the elevator. It appeared the elevator wasn't occupied, so Gold pressed the button, watching the doors slide open, and quickly got inside before anyone else came in. "Hmm, now which floor should I go to?" Gold murmured to himself, looking at the buttons. "I guess I could get some TM's, but I'm pretty confident in my Pokémon's move sets..." Gold was about to push the button to the 4th floor, when a man walked in. He wore a fedora and a trench coat, and looked straight ahead, not paying any mind to Gold, as the Pokemon trainer glowered at him. "Do you mind?" Gold grunted. The man glanced at him. "Mind what?" Gold groaned and reached for the elevator buttons, but was stopped once again by two more men and a woman entering. Gold took a deep breath and growled as he looked at the people accompanying him, waiting for him to push a button. "_Is that everyone?_" Gold said with a fake smile. "Nope!" Someone called, as two more men entered, as well as another woman. Gold gritted his teeth and shouted in frustration, slamming his right hand on the elevator buttons, closing the doors. Meanwhile, Red was already getting his items scanned. "Alright, altogether that will be 40 dollars," The clerk told. "My account offers 25 dollars." Red stated. The clerk just blinked. "Sir, our prices are non-negotiable." "56 rupees!" Red went on. "Sorry, but we can only except American currency in Japan." "Two live Torchics!" This just left the clerk standing there, glancing around hoping someone could help him. "90 dollars!" Red continued. "S-sir, that's more then twice the cost..." The conversation was interrupted when the lights flickered followed by a loud bang coming from the elevator shaft. The people Gold was with inside the elevator looked around nervously, as Gold crossed his arms, while trying not to panic. "Please for the love of Arceus tell me that we aren't stuck..." One of the women tried to open the doors, digging her fingernails in between the doors and trying to pull them apart, but to no avail. "Yep, it's official," She said with a despondent tone. "We're stuck in here." Gold stood in anxiousness as the people around him stared talking in worry. "Are we too heavy? Oh god we're too heavy." "I wonder when this elevator last serviced." "If we go into a free fall I'm grabbing that rail and bracing for impact." "I bet if I jumped right before we hit the bottom I'd be okay." "We'd eat that guy first, I'm sure." "Elevators must have fail-safes, right?" "What if the apocalypse just happened and we have to repopulate the earth?" Gold started tugging on his hair. "NO!" He shouted. Everyone stopped their chatter and goggled at him. "We can't be stuck! We just can't!" Nobody said a word as Gold continued. "I need to help my friend defeat his arch nemesis, and even though he's kind of a mute, I'm convinced he's the son of Satan because he's really freak'n scary when he's mad! So I'm really not looking forward to when he finds out I got stuck in here and he has to wait for god knows how long for me to get out! He's gonna kill me!" Gold dropped to his knees. Luckily for him, though, Red was blissfully unaware of what was going on. He stood outside the department store, leaning against it. "Hm, should I go see what's taking Gold so long?" Red wondered. He paused for a second. "Nah, I can wait. But he better not take too long." Red's thoughts were interrupted by a shout. "I finally found you!" Red jumped and turned to the right, were he saw his rival, Blue, (or Green I honestly have no idea what to call him) catching his breath as he pointed at Red. "Oh, great. Do you want a battle or something?" Red sighed as he reached for the pokéball that held his Pikachu. "As much as I love causing public disturbances," Blue started as he reached into his pocket. "But I'm here for another reason." He finished, pulling out a folded up piece of paper, and handed it to Red. Curious, Red took it and unfolded the paper, revealing a letter.

Dear Pesky Red,

I have revived Team Rocket, and I am now their new leader! Together, we have taken over Mt. Silver! Do you understand? I took your mountain! And I have an entire army!

I bet you're wondering why I'm doing this, huh? Well, if you and whatever worthless maggots

you get to help you, then I dare you to come to Mt. Silver, if you can!

From,

The ever-so-superior Fire

Red gritted his teeth and crushed the paper in his hand. "Does he have a death wish?!" Red snarled. Blue backed away from him. "Fire, the moment I get my hands on you I'm taking that attitude of yours and shoving up down your throat!" Red yelled. He turned and stomped back in the department store. "GOLD! WHERE ARE YOU?!" Gold heard Red's shouting from inside the elevator. "Oh god, he's looking for me!" Gold pushed the people out of his way and hid in the back of the elevator, the people staring at him in confusion in response. Red heard Gold's muffled shout, and headed for the elevator, with Blue cautiously following behind. He took a crowbar that was nearby (somehow...) and pried open the doors, looking at the people inside, who flinched and stared back in surprise at Red. "Gold, are you in here?" Red growled. "Why aren't you people helping me?" Gold said in a shaky voice. Red left the crowbar between the doors, and marched in, pushing the people out of his way and grabbed Gold's jacket. "OH GOD, RED I'M SORRY!" Gold shouted. "What the heck are you talking about?" Red responded. Gold looked quizzical at him, and before he could say anything, Red dragged him out as the other people flooded out of the elevator as well, then Red walked up to Blue and grabbed his shoulders. "Blue, where did you get that letter?" Blue glanced around. "Uh... I dunno, I just got it from some Team Rocket grunt ..." Gold stepped up to Red. "Uh, mind telling me what's going on?" Red let go of Blue's shoulders, and stared ahead. "I got a letter from Fire. That son of a female Growlthie is getting stronger. He's even in charge of Team Rocket now!" Gold understood, and thought for a moment. "Hm... How are we gonna beat him now?" Blue tapped his foot, trying to think of a suggestion. A light bulb suddenly went off in his had. "Hey, why don't you guys try using a legendary Pokémon against him?" Red and Gold turned their attention to him. "Yeah, that's a good idea! If he has Team Rocket on his side now, that's gonna be a lot of trouble for just the two of us. So we should get a legendary to utterly decimate them! Haha!" Red nodded in agreement. "Not to mention cheap. It would be the perfect way to defeat Fire while trolling him." Gold snapped his fingers and turned to Red. "I don't think I've caught Suicune. Raiko, or Entei! They should be easy targets! Let's go after them at the Burned Tower!" He suggested. And so, Red and Gold headed out of Goldenrod, and went for Ekruteik City. Leaving Blue in the dust apparently.


	3. Chapter 3-Hoenn Confirmed

Meanwhile, In Hoenn...

Brendan opened his window, looking down on Littleroot Town from his upstairs room. He smiled, and reached for an object sitting next to him. Brendan grabbed his trumpet and pointed it out the window, taking a deep breath and started playing. Loudly, even. And he was playing horribly off-key, the sound echoing across town, causing many people to cover their ears and look up at Brendan in anger. May heard the noise, looking out her own window and huffed, leaving her house to confront her neighbor. "Like, oh my god, Brendan! What are you doing?" Brendan ignored her shout, and continued playing. May cupped her hands around her mouth, and shouted. "Brendan! Shut up!" Brendan abruptly stopped, and glared at May. "No! YOU shut up! An idiot like you doesn't understand REAL music!" May stomped on the ground, and whined. "Brendan! Why do you ALWAYS call me that?!" Brendan crossed his arms, moving his trumpet back and fourth. "You've been a trainer longer than me, and yet when I met you, you only had a level 5 Torchic and throughout the rest of my adventure, you only got three more and none of them were fully evolved." Brendan argued. "At least I don't have a mental dissorder!" May said back. "And which one of us is the champion of Hoenn?" Brendan then took his trumpet and played it even louder and worse, until May got annoyed and ran back inside her house. Seeing she was gone, Brendan slammed his window shut. "May's so dumb," Brendan grumbled as he sat down on the rug in his room. "How dare she insult my beautiful trumpet playing! Right, Marshstomp?" Brendan looked at his Marshstomp who was sitting down with him, giving him a vacant look. Brendan made a goofy grin, thinking his Marshstomp agreed, and continued playing his trumpet. Suddenly, his door burst open, with his mother standing in the doorway, looking quite irritated. "Brendan! Quit playing that trumpet!" She snapped. Brendan made a pouty face, and put down his trumpet, crossing his arms. "Mom, you don't understand," He begun to say. "The only thing you've done after you finished your Pokemon journey is play your stupid annoying trumpet! It's driving me crazy!" Brendan's mom continued to complain. "That's not true," Brendan argued. "I also set May's house on fire, I rebuilt my secret base somewhere else because some kid from Lillycove kept sneaking into my old one and stealing my stuff, I spent three months trying to catch a Feebas, and I went to the Battle Frontier." Brendan's mom shook her head, heavily breathing. "Well, you've been playing your trumpet most of the time. Why can't you just spend the rest of your life training Pokemon like a normal kid?" She grumbled as she left. Brendan stood up, putting his hands on his hips. "Well, she does have one thing right," He turned to his Marshstomp, who responded by giving him an ecstatic look. "I haven't done any battling with you guys in a while! Because the Battle Frontier is boring, and nobody has come to the Pokemon League to challenge me. Mostly because I don't think they want to cross a hundred miles of Tentacools to go to Ever Grande City." Brendan stretched his arms out, turned around and picked up his trumpet, and then continued to walk to his desk, where his pokéball belt was. He strapped the belt around his waist, and grabbed a pokéball. "Altaria, get your butt out here!" Brendan pressed the button, and the Dragon/Flying Pokemon emerged from the ball. Brendan then took his Marshstomp's pokéball, and called the Pokémon back, then opened his window, and turned to Altaria. "Okay, Altaria! Let's head to the Battle Frontier and find Scott. Maybe he'll have something for us to do!" Altaria spread it's cotton-like wings, and flew out the window, having its back facing Brendan so he could jump on. He climbed onto the window sill, and balanced himself. "This is extremely dangerous, but I don't care!" He jumped forwards, grabbing Altaria's back. The bird Pokémon made a high-pitched noise in response, as Brendan's weight caused it to fall a little, and it flapped it's wings harder to get back to the altitude it was before, then started flying forwards.

~Intermission~

Just as Brendan thought, he found Scott at the Battle Frontier, standing in front of the Battle Tower. "HEY SCOTT!" He yelled to get his attention. Scott flinched and turned around, seeing Brendan run up to him, with his Altaria close behind. "Oh god, not him..." Scott muttered. Brendan stood in front of Scott, giving him a big, toothy grin. Scott sighed, looking up at Brendan, glowering. "What do you need, Brendan?" He said with as much enthusiasm as he could. "I'm bored." Brendan bluntly replied. Scott blinked, and looked around. "Well, hey, the Battle Frontier should keep you plenty occupied. I don't think you got all the emblems-" Scott was cut off when Brendan stared shouting. "No! I don't like this place because it's boring and it's meant for competitive Pokemon teams! And my team is the complete opposite of competitive!" Scott stood staring at Brendan, who stared back, all while still smiling. He reached into his pocket, and searched for a boat ticket to Johto. Scott planned on going to Johto in search of other trainers to take to the Battle Frontier, but if giving the ticket will get Brendan away from him, then he's perfectly okay with re-scheduling. Scott pulled the ticket out, and slowly handed it to Brendan. The young trainer peered down at it, his eyes widening in glee. "Uh, here, Brendan, it's a ticket to Johto, a region northwest from here. Knock yourself out." Brendan snatched away the ticket, looking at it with excitement, and turned to his Altaria, his smile broadening. "Alright! Let's go to Johto! WOO!" Brendan spun around and headed for the docks. His Altaria sighed and shook its head, before flying after its trainer. Scott wiped the sweat off of his forehead. "There's something not right with that kid..." He sighed. Brendan sped towards the docks, the sailor nearby noticed him coming. He stepped back slightly, as Brendan stopped right in front of him, and shoved the ticket in his face. "Take me to Johto! Now!" Brendan demanded. The sailor took the ticket and looked at it. "Kid, I only take people from Battle Frontier to Slateport. I can't-" "I AM THE CHAMPION OF THIS REGION, AND YOU WILL DO AS I SAY!" The sailor flinched, and nodded his head, letting Brendan board the ship. He stepped in after him, and they set sail for Johto.

~Another Intermission!~

Because Brendan kept threatening the sailor so much, he somehow managed to get all the way to Johto in a matter of minutes. They ported in Olivine City, and Brendan jumped out onto the dock as soon as the boat stopped. "Oh god, why is it so cold here?!" He shouted, giving no mind to the other sailors watching him. Brendan started shivering, and he grabbed his arms. "I know I live in a southern-island region, so I wouldn't be used to cold weather, but my god!" Brendan reached for another pokéball. "Camerupt! Make me warm!" He called, releasing the Eruption Pokemon, who shook its head and looked up at Brendan. It took a deep breath, and used its Flamethrower attack on Brendan, leaving his face covered in soot. "...Giving me third degree burns isn't what I meant." Camerupt snickered at Brendan's reaction, before it was forced back inside its pokéball. "Bad Camerupt! You're not coming out again for a while!" After that, Brendan decided to do some exploring. There wasn't much for him to do in Olivine, so he continued out to route 39. He messed around at the farm that was located on the route, but he was kicked out by the farm's owner for harassing the Miltanks. It didn't take long for him to stumble into Ekruteak City. "Wow, this place is pretty old." He stated, looking around. Brendan noticed the Burned Tower nearby. Curiosity struck him, as he headed to the collapsed building, and peeked his head in. Inside the building, Suicune, Entei, and Raikou were lazing around, most likely waiting for someone to trigger their event. "WHOA!" Brendan shouted, seeing them. The three legendary BEASTS because they ARE NOT DOGS they are BEASTS, PLEASE GET THAT THROUGH YOUR HEAD cocked their heads up, looking slack-jawed at Brendan. "...Those are some ugly Eeveelutions!" Hearing him say that, the three beasts' expressions quickly changed to a "dude, really?" face. But, because Brendan had discovered them, they quickly rose to their feet, and jumped out of the hole in the ceiling, each running off into a different direction. Brendan ran to the spot where they stood, looking up at the hole. He suddenly heard the floorboards creaking behind him, and he turned, seeing Red and Gold standing in the entrance. "Hey, Red, there's someone here," Gold said. "Hello, fellow trainers!" Brendan greeted. Red acknowledged him by nodding, and stepped forward. "Hey, you didn't by any chance... see Suicune, Entei, and Raikou in here?" Brendan tilted his head slightly in confusion, for he had not heard those names before. "Uh, no." He answered. "But I did see some really ugly Eeveelutions." Gold stomped in frustration. "Dang it! Why aren't they here? I couldn't sworn I didn't trigger the event..." Red sighed. "Great, now what are we going to use to defeat Fire?" As the two discussed other plans, Brendan studied their faces. He could've sworn he'd seen them before... "Hold the phone! Are you two Red and Gold? The Kanto and Johto Pokemon League champs?!" Red and Gold turned to face Brendan. "Uh... yeah! That's right! Nice to meet you, kid!" Gold said. Brendan smiled. "Awesome! I knew you looked familiar! My name's Brendan! Incidentally, I'm the champion of Hoenn!" Gold sprinted up to Brendan. "Really?! Sweet, that's awesome!" Gold then gave him a high-five. Red walked up to them, crossing his arms. He had something on his mind. "Wait, you live in Hoenn? How are you comfortable wearing black clothes there?" Gold asked. Brendan then grinned, and made a pose. "Because this outfit makes me look sexy!" Gold blinked and rubbed his neck. "Uh, sure... Well, hey, you got white hair, so at least your head is cool!" Brendan sighed when he heard that. He reached his hand up. "Actually, it's a hat." He stated, pulling it off and revealing short black hair underneath. Gold stood is surprise, even Red looked shocked. Brendan quickly put his hat back on. "Yeah, see why I wear this thing?" Red cleared his throat. "Hey, Brendan." The boy he referred to turned his head. "Since you're the Hoenn champ, you must have some good Pokemon, right? Then, I'd like your help with something." Brendan nodded, unsure were this was going. Red took the liberty of explaining what was going on between him and Fire. "I see... So you want me to help you defeat him? Sure thing!" Brendan agreed to help. "I mean, I'd hate it too if some jerk who doesn't even look like me suddenly replaced me and stole my fame! Of course I'll help!" Brendan took his trumpet out of his backpack. "And when I 'm through with him, I'll play a song of sweet victory for you on my trumpet!" Brendan lifted the instrument up to his face and begun to play poorly. Before Red got annoyed and punched his lights out, Gold grabbed the trumpet's horn and lowered it, causing Brendan to stop. "Uh, not right now, but thanks." Brendan shrugged, and put his trumpet away. "But still..." He begun to say. "I feel like our meeting here was destined! It was fate!" He wrapped his arms around Red and Gold's necks. "We are now brothers in arms! Let us make haste, to defeat our enemy, the evil Fire!" Red struggled to get out of Brendan's grip. "Red, if you can't beat him, join him..." Gold told him.


	4. Chapter 4-The Plot Thickens Sort Of

Even though they weren't able to catch Suicune, Entei, or Raikou, Gold and Red left the Burned Tower in high spirits, now that they had an ally in Brendan. However, those feelings were gone in about half a second when they saw Blue standing outside, waiting for them. He was tapping his foot in impatience. "Well, thank you SO much for ditching me back there," He said sarcastically. "Yeah, like I'd want my jerk rival to help me defeat my other jerk rival." Red huffed.

Blue rolled his eyes. "Ah, whatever. I had something else to tell you, ya know." Gold tilted his head in confusion. "You... did?" Blue nodded. "Yeah, apparently gramps wanted to talk to you about something." He looked at Gold and Brendan. "And bring those two with you." With that, Blue turned and walked away, making a "loser" sign with his left hand at the trio, saying "Smell 'ya later!" Red sighed and shook his head. Gold stepped forwards, putting his hands on his hips. "Well, the quickest way for the three of us to get to Kanto would be to take the magnet train," Gold suggested. "Oh, we're gonna take a train? Sweet!" Brendan exclaimed. "I've always wanted to ride a train! Mostly because I wanted to sing Paradise Line."

_If his singing is as bad as his trumpet playing, I got a bad feeling about this... _Red thought. The trio made their way back to Goldenrod, and went straight to the train station. Just like always, there wasn't anyone there. So, Gold just walked straight up to the ticket taker. And then they got on the train, and montage stuff, blah blah blah... Red, Gold, and Brendan took their seats and the magnet train immediately sped down the tracks for Kanto. Brendan looked out the windows, seeing the trees and fields zipping by. He smiled to himself. "Hey, guys..." Before he said anything else, Red interrupted him. "Please for the love of god, do not sing." Brendan groaned and kicked his legs. "Aw, come on! I've always wanted to sing Paradise Line on a train!" "What is that song, anyways? I've never heard of it." Gold wondered aloud. "It's a song from Mother 1/Earthbound Zero." Brendan replied. "Oh yeah, that's a good game..." Red murmured. Brendan glanced around the train, seeing the others passengers were looking bored, some of them half-asleep. "Man, this place really needs some livening up!" Brendan exclaimed. "Brendan, if you sing I will tear out your vocal cords and beat you with them," Red threatened. Brendan and Gold stared wide-eyed at him before slowly inching away from him.

So, after the long and awkward train ride, they were in Pallet Town!

Gold and Brendan started heading for Professor Oak's lab, when they noticed Red was nervously staring at his house from the entrance to town. Gold saw this and walked by his side. "Yo, Red, are you alright?" Red glanced at him. "I'm worried my mom might see me out here." He replied. "Why are you scared of your mom?" Brendan asked, while hiding a smile. "First she grounds me for three months because I haven't been home for a while, and immediately when she lets me go, I run off again. She's gonna kill me!" Gold patted his shoulder. "Don't worry, Red, if your mom sees you and goes crazy we can get Brendan to distract her with his Trumpet." Brendan looked at the brass instrument in his hand, his lips curling into a huge smile. "I wasn't giving you permission to play it right now." Gold remarked.

So, the three made their way to Professor Oak's laboratory. "Professor? Are you here?" Red called out, opening the door. He saw Oak at the back of the lab, his back turned to him. Red entered and held the door open for Gold and Brendan. "Red..." Professor Oak spoke with a grim voice when the three boys approached him. "It appears your arch nemesis, Fire, had returned." "Booooorrrriiiiiing!" Brendan blurted. Red, Gold and Oak stared at him with chagrined expressions as he headed for the computers. "I'm gonna do an internet!" Professor turned his head back to Gold and Red, pointing at Brendan, silently asking for an explanation. "Don't mind him sir, he's just a little bit insane." Oak nodded, and cleared his throat.

"With the fact that he was in Black and White 2, and with the release of Pokemon: The Origin, Fire's powers are becoming stronger," He explained as he slowly paced back and fourth. "What can we do to stop him?" Gold inquired. "The way he is now, there doesn't seem to be a way to stop him." Oak answered. "But fortunately, I know his weakness!" A spark of hope went through Red and Gold, but not Brendan since he was too busy staring in shock as what he found on the internet. Professor Oak opened his mouth to speak, when suddenly two Team Rocket grunts, one male one female, crashed through the window.

"Hold it right there!" "We can't let you leave here with Fire's weakness!" Red and Gold glared at the grunts, each grabbing a pokéball off of their belts. "How did you find us?" Red growled. "Fire has spies everywhere!" The female grunt responded. "Remember when you where on the magnet train? Everyone aboard was a grunt in disguise!" Gold clenched his fist. "Dang it, I knew there had to be a reason there were people on board that didn't get off at Johto!" The male grunt threw two pokéballs, summoning a Golbat and a Weezing, facing Red and Gold, preparing for battle. Just as the two trainers were about to send out their own Pokemon, Brendan suddenly stepped in front of them.

"I got this!" He said, grinning. The Rocket grunts stared at him in confusion. "Who the heck are you?" Brendan's grin turned to a smirk as he grabbed a pokéball from his belt. "Well, well, well! I couldn't help but notice you cowering in fear of me! Continue to do this, for this as this is the proper action, when faced with Brendan, the great and powerful champion of Hoenn!" The grunts exchanged confused glances. "No, seriously, who is this?" The male grunt asked. "He kind of looks like Naruto." The female grunt replied. Brendan continued his speech, as he put his hands on his hips, in a proud or confident way. "Your deliverance will soon be at hand, my friends." He pointed dramatically at the grunts, clutching his pokéball. "Killing you will be the frosting on my murder cake! This day is your reckoning! Should you want to live, you'd best kill yourselves now!" Red face palmed as Gold slowly shook his head. The male Rocket grunt crossed his arms. "_This _is the idiot Fire is having us fight?"

Brendan's expression turned doleful as he lowered his arm. "...Did you just call me an idiot?" Red and Gold glanced at each other as Brendan gritted his teeth. "Nobody calls me an idiot!" He shouted, and almost slammed his pokéball into the ground, a Zangoose appearing in a puff of smoke. Gold grinned as he sent out one of his Pokémon as well, a Heracross, and Red sent out his Pikachu. "Alright! It's three against two! What now?!" Gold taunted. "I don't care what you do, just kill them, Zangoose!" Brendan continued to shout. Red just nodded at his Pikachu. "Heh, you think you guys are so great?" The male grunt smirked and pointed to the left. "Well, while you guys were fooling around, my partner captured the professor!" Red, Gold, and Brendan looked over to Oak, to see The female grunt had tied him with a rope. "Why does this stuff always happen to me..." He muttered. "Alright! I'm gonna take him to Fire!" The grunt said as she left, dragging Oak with her. "Someone has to help him!" Red shouted. He looked to Gold and Brendan, but they just stared blankly in the direction the grunt ran off to. "...You guys are useless."

The remaining grunt pointed at the three trainers, commanding Weezing and Golbat. "But enough talk! Have at you! Weezing, use Poison Gas on the Zangoose!" Weezing breathed a black cloud of smoke onto Brendan's Zangoose, surrounding it's head, but it shook it off like it was nothing. Brendan smirked. "Ha! Betcha didn't know my Zangoose is immune to poison!" Zangoose reached its claw up to its face to pull one of its eyelids down as it did a raspberry at Weezing. Weezing looked offended, and glared at Zangoose as it prepared another attack. However, it was interrupted when Gold's Heracross flew up to it and used it's Brick Break move. Red noticed the Golbat staring at the struggle between the three Pokemon. He fixed his hat, and commanded his Pikachu. "Use Thunderbolt," Pikachu did as instructed, and fired a bolt of lightning from it's tail at Golbat. Said Pokémon turned when it heard Red's voice, but was too slow to dodge the electric attack coming right it's way. It fell to the ground, shaking from electricity. "Aw, come on, I wasn't even paying attention!" The Rocket grunt complained. "Oh well, at least I still have Weezing! Use-" As he turned his head back to his Weezing, he saw Zangoose and Heracross dancing the macrana on it's corpse. "Oh come on!" He shouted, stomping on the floor in frustration. "How did I loose?!" Red withdrew his Pikachu into it's ball.

"Well, for starters, you challenged three of us, who all just happen to be the Pokemon League champions of their respective regions, to a battle with only two Pokemon," The grunt reluctantly withdrew his Pokemon, Zangoose and Heracross scurrying over to their trainers when Weezing disappeared, and ran for the door. But, he stopped and turned around to point at the three trainers. "You may have won the battle, but you will not win the war! Fire will destroy you!" Gold made a shooing gesture with his hand. "Yeah, whatever. They all say that." The grunt huffed in frustration before running off. Brendan withdrew his Zangoose, and turned to Gold and Brendan. "Well, we sure showed them, didn't we!" He smiled widely and put his hands on his hips. "Yes, but now we have to rescue Professor Oak..." Red replied. "Well, I guess that's kind of a good thing." Gold responded. "After all, we're kinda delaying this a bit too much, aren't we? We need to go to Mt. Silver and kick Fire's butt, anyways!" Red crossed his arms as he stepped forward. "That's my problem. We need to know Fire's weakness from Oak, but if Fire's the one holding him captive..." Gold understood, as he tried to think of an alternative. "Oh, don't worry, guys!" Brendan exclaimed. "While I was on the computer, I went to Plot Convenience dot com! So I know exactly what we have to do!" But his thoughts were interrupted when someone busted through the lab door. Red, Gold, and Brendan turned, to see a woman with blue hair wearing red dress and an apron standing in the doorway, with the door broken off of it's hinges. "RED! THERE YOU ARE!" She shouted. "Uh... Hi, mom..." Red stuttered.

Meanwhile, on Mt. Silver...

"...And that concludes our report, sir!" Said the rocket grunt from before, with Professor Oak next to him, looking bored out of his mind. "I know Red's coming to help me, but I'd appreciate it if he could get here sooner..." He muttered. Fire gave a nod. "Huh, that was a pretty good job!" He exclaimed. "You know, expect for the fact that it was freaking terrible." The grunt blinked. "What? Why?" Fire glared at him. "Because, YOU LET RED KNOW I HAVE A WEAKNESS!" He turned and kicked the snow in frustration. "You guys are the worst henchmen ever!" Oak sighed and shook his head. "What do you mean?" Asked the grunt. Fire slowly turned his head back. "I told you idiots to kidnap the professor before Red and those two weirdos got to Kanto! And what did you do? Wait for them to get to the professor and let him tell them I have a weakness! Wow! Good job!" He clapped sarcastically. "What _is _your weakness?" The grunt wondered aloud. "Do you really think I'm gonna tell you that?!" Fire spat. He sighed and turned around, and begun to walk with his arms behind his back. "Oh well, we'll work this out somehow..." He grumbled. "The should at least be busy having to deal with Red's mom since I told her where he is." Fire stopped, and begun to smirk. "And besides, I'm almost prepared for my plan to take over Kanto and Johto! Once I've taken control over them, I'll go after the others! And then... heh heh... I'll make sure there isn't anywhere safe for Red to run to! Mark my words!"


End file.
